Bengaluru, 16 Feb 2016.
In a major boost to the “Make in India” initiative, the government has announced that a few Indian cities will be developed as “African Safari” hubs to boost tourist potentials, starting with Bengaluru.
“It was a no-brainer”, said Dr Mahesh Sharma, minister for tourism. “We already have leopards roaming in Bengaluru. There are a few brilliant ones among them, which get recaptured, and escape again, strutting around just as they would in the wild. Then there are the regular panthers prowling the streets of Mumbai. We hope the monkey man will soon return to Delhi. Then there’s the ubiquitous but unique species called the “Indian mango man” all over the country. Our people needn’t have traveled all the way to Africa to experience wilderness all these years. We have all the basic resources here itself, we just have to use them efficiently.
The minister added that “Keeping with tradition, we plan to name it secularly and in line with most yojanas. As of now, the name “Rahul Gandhi Chalo Jungle Yojana” seems to be emerging as the most popular pick. No doubt, such ideas will evoke great interest and boost revenues.”
Unable to keep up to their promise of taking black money hoarders to task, the Government is mulling the idea of letting Safari tourists to shoot those who have hoarded black bucks in case they chance upon them. Last heard, Amir Khan’s chief competitor Salman Khan has happily agreed to be brand ambassador and mentor for the programme.
As soon as the programme was announced, politicians from several States, specially UP and Bihar, are dirt-wrestling to seize the initiative and credits.
In a public meeting yesterday, Bihar CM Mr Nitish Kumar strongly demanded the whole state be declared a Safari reserve, claiming to have well-preserved it’s jungle-raj tradition, which is now being vehemently reminded by his predecessor Shri Laloo Prasad Yadav to have been started by him.
In a refreshing departure from his usual “oppose-everything-Modi-at any cost” policy, Congress VP Rahul Gandhi has appreciated the nomenclature, saying that his contributions to Indian politics are finally being acknowledged. Yet, not to be outdone by the wilier old foxes as usual, he has demanded Safari status for his constituency of Amethi, and offered to keep himself stationed there to attract initial crowds. However, a well-intentioned but worried party insider was heard wondering aloud, “Him and Safari?….?? Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into another circus.”
Meanwhile, AAP’s the Ashutosh has outrightly opposed the idea. Sharing the results of an AAP internal survey in which he himself was the exclusive participant, he announced: “The safari suit is the symbol of the high handed bureaucrats, which is against the very essence of the aam aadmi. Why the Modi is forcing everyone to wear the Safari? Will the Modi explain?”